


Hal has an aneurysm

by ArsenicPanther



Category: Homestuck, Real life - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Crack Fic, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Temporary child death, dont be mean to me pls, i uploaded this so my friend could sew, pregante, see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 23:15:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14412597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArsenicPanther/pseuds/ArsenicPanther
Summary: We are all so sad and so sorry for what has happened to you.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> fuck you

This destsermined little man will com on the day of the reckonigng and kill his arch nememis FOUl. His name is…………………………. Little Haluvard, and his enemins name is Foul. Foul Owl….. he will kill him if it is the last thing he does in his pathetic life; he will not ever stop until he gets his dead bpody and takes it to tge king and puts it on the flag of nepal….. He will eat his leg too.. Just to show hum whose boss (its Hal…) Haluvard is boss here ,   
“Haluvard i will kill you if it the last thing i do” said Foul. Little Halivard looked at him and said…………. “Not today idiot. I will be kill ing youy first you fucking imbeciule. You skinless chickedn, Foul,m you killed youyr mother to get her inheritance and still you are not satifistyed.” Haluvard drew his sword while he said this. And he l;ooked at Foul who was looking a little bit like he didnt want to be there. And Foul said “I told yoy i killed her on accident you insensitive bitch….”  
And he criedl. And cried; And cvries.. .. … Yeah . and then Uh Little HAl said “why are yoy crying fucking dumbass idiot stupid head.” And Foul said “im sad because you think i killed h, my mom on purpiose.” Amd them Hal said “sorry I guess” and guged him. Befuase thaTS what friemnds do. Amd no hom,o.  
Foul lo9ked evern more sad .. because he had depressions. And HAl sdaid “why the fuck id wrong eith you dude.” And Foul said “Uhhhh ddude i kjow its like no homo and srtuff but i feel………. Yes homo for you..,,,,,,,,./” and hal said “But whatg i thought yoy loved yoyr ex girlfriend miley cyrus ,more than me.” And Fouul said “n- n0 she killed my d0g” and Hal sdaid “oh ok” amd then they rofe into the sunsety,.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> childbirth

HAL and Foul had nbow been living together for 2 days. Hal was going to propese to Foul, but he was nervouse… what if Foul didnt actually, like him? So Hal went and asked every one if he should propseose. To Foul. Unfortunatyely for him everyone was busy except for Kanaya, who said “You Stuopid Bitch I Am Angbry. And Now Yoy Have Pulled The Last Straw For Me. So Therefore I Am Telling You To Leave Me Alone You Smell Like Feety.”  
Hal looked down. Did he really smell like feety? He didnt think it was rthaT bad that he coul be smell through the computer scren… He crie. And then Foul walked in.  
“Babye wats wrong” Said Foul, foully.  
“Do i smeel like feety” blubbered Hal throguh his epic tears. Foul patted his head with his hand full of gum and got gum stuck in his hair. Then he said “No haluvard Your just special.” Then Hal got one one knee even though it was hard becfause Foul’s hand was stuck to his head. And he said “Foul will you marry me” amnd Foul saud “OMG YES OMGH OMGO OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGO MGOMGOM G OMG OMG OMG O MG OMG OMG OGM”  
Then Foul feklt and epic pain in his stomach. “Dude i think i ahve to shit brb” And he went to the bathroom and shitte d out a fucking babey! What the fuck!!!!!!!! And Foul said “WHat” and pickede up the baby and took it to Hal.  
“Hal looke it i shitted our baby??” Said Foul. Hal screamed in terror. “What is that” h e made a yell. “It’s our baby idiot” said Foul. “Oh ok” said Hal. “Can we name it Johnny”  
“Yes, i think that bame is perfext for him.” Said Foul with a big smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help I don’t know how to make more chapters


	3. The death of Johnny

Johnny went to sleep. His dads were in the bathroom shitting to bondf like married couoples do. Johnny didnt want to ever het married. Even if it meant he had to shit by himself for the rest of his life. He preffered that anyway.   
One thing that troubled Johnny, though, was that he didnt know what thr word scarp meant. Every day and every night he wonder what it meant but hew never got any fuckiung answers. His phone didnt have service so he couldnt look it up. ANnd it made him ssad. And he got so fucking sad tjhat he died in his sleep.  
Hal wnre t to the room where it happened to see how his son was doing. But he was DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amd hal looked at the phone next to his sons corpse and saw n the screen.. “dEFINE SCARP” and he thought “why does johnny have tavroses typijhg quirk” then he saw the no service sign in the corner and immediately knew what happened. Jphnny dided of dasdemess… Je was dead fucking dead. Hal said :( amd went to go tell his husband, FOul.   
Foul crued for 2 whole secojds when he found out Johnny was dead. Johnny Bravo Homestuyck………….. Was dead. But then he had a good idea. Maybe i f theuy electrocuted his body he would be rescutuatied. Wait fuck i frogot to write the mpreg part. Fuck wait  
Ok  
Anywa HAl went and got the car battery and the jumper cables. And they went to Johnny BH’s beside and put the cables on him and hooked them on the car battery. Success, he was alive now. Hooryay.   
“Dad. What does scarp mean.” Johnny asked beside himself with greif. And Hal leaned down and patted him on the head. “,my son, scarp means a steep embankment.” Johnny smiled and went back to sleep. “Honey”, said Foul “I think im fucking p-tregant again.” Hal sighed in pain and walked back to his room. And Foul shit out a babny the next day. They names him Sans.

**Author's Note:**

> how do I make more chapters


End file.
